“No”. A two year olds favourite word. The word a lot of us fear, dread, and despise. Just two letters long, but a word which carries a lot of weight. One of the shortest words in the English language, but one which can arguably hold the biggest impact.
We plead, we beg, we bargain with God a lot of times in the hopes that we won’t have to hear “no” in response to our requests, our desires or the longings of our hearts. We’ve made plans, we’ve written the story how we would want it to go, and a “no” has no place in that narrative.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve found yourself thinking that maybe—just maybe—you’ve earned a “yes” from God because of the choices you’ve made or the disciplines you’ve practiced. A “yes” makes sense. It aligns with the image you had in your mind of how your future was meant to unfold. You’ve sown the seeds, you’ve been faithful, you’ve done what you thought was necessary to avoid the dreaded two-letter word. And yet, here you are. The ashes of your hopes scattered beside you.
Maybe you’re also like me in that when you do receive a “no,” you struggle to accept it as anything other than punishment. You wonder if it’s a consequence for the ways you’ve fallen short. The mistakes you’ve made, the times you’ve failed. A karmic response you inevitably deserve. That “no” can feel like a punch to the gut, leaving you lost, ashamed, and alone. I know that feeling well.
I’m sure as you read this you can think of a few times you have pleaded with God to respond to your prayer with that coveted three-letter word, but instead his response has caused you to question his presence or his goodness. The shut door on the opportunity, relationship, or even the healing you have been waiting on has left you feeling completely hopeless and lost. Sometimes I wonder if God hasn’t had a thorough look at the blueprints I’ve written up for how my life was meant to go, and he just needs to take another look so we can get the project back up and running on schedule.
Psalm 145:17 says, “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His works.” Read that again. He is righteous in all His ways, and He is kind in all His works.
Tara-Leigh Cobble puts it beautifully: “We don’t focus on His kindness enough! His kindness is in His ‘yes,’ in His ‘no,’ and in His ‘wait.’ Every answer He gives to every prayer is His kindest possible answer. If He tells me ‘no’ to something I’ve prayed for, then His ‘yes’ would be less kind.”
Man, how does that perspective change the way I receive the “No” and the “wait” from God? If I truly trust in his goodness, his kindness and his sovereignty, I can be thankful for his “no”. Yes it will still hurt, yes I can still grieve. But beneath all that I can REST because I know that it is out of his tenderness that he hands me the “no”. It is out of his protection for me. I can maybe even be thankful for the “no” because I can trust the one who sees the end from the beginning is the one who speaks it.
Even more, my disappointment with His “no” is not only safe with Him, but it is welcomed by Him. He can handle my honesty, my frustration, and my cries for it to be different. He doesn’t turn away when I wrestle with my grief, He draws near. Even Jesus experienced a “no” from the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane. And how thankful are we that He did?! His “no” led to the greatest “yes” humanity has ever known: our redemption.
So maybe “no” isn’t the worst word in the English language after all. It’s not a dead end, it’s a divine detour. It’s a word that reminds me that my plans are limited, but His are eternal. If God’s ultimate goal is for me to know Him deeper and become more like Him, then His “no” is never without purpose. If His “no” draws me closer to Him, then I can be thankful for it. Because there’s a kind of intimacy that “no” gives me with Jesus in some situations that a “yes” never could. A “yes” might give me what I think I want, but a “no” just might give me more of Him—and that is the greater gift.
Thank you, God, for the word “no”.
- Riley