“The friendships, and community found in the Church is supposed to be different. They are supposed to be life-giving, real, substantial (not surface-level), and full of intentionality.”
We are living in a time where we are hyper-connected, globally minded, and yet full of anxiety, loneliness, and fear. Our minds are constantly being filled with how to dress, what to say, what not to say, how often to go to the gym, what foods will make you thinner, that you should make more money but also vacation more, etc. These pressures are hard to escape as they come to us even through the small screens that we hold in our pockets all day, every day. Therefore, due to these trends, researchers call the time that we are living in the ‘Age of Anxiety.’ Depression, loneliness, and anxiety are identified as major problems and are at the forefront of our culture’s narrative every day. But if we really think about it, since we have more connection (through our technology), shouldn’t that mean that we feel less lonely?
In a TED talk done a few years ago, Sherry Turkle said that “we are lonely and yet we fear intimacy.” We turn to technology and online interactions to have the illusion of companionship without the demands of real friendship. In general, we don’t want to have to do much or inconvenience ourselves to gain or deepen friendships. We have lost sight of what real community is because we believe we already have it through social media or our phones. People can now hangout in the same room together, on their phones, never speak, and be satisfied with that “quality time” with their friends. There is a misconception that “gathering” and “community” are synonymous, however, they are not. “Gathering” refers to “an assembly or meeting” where the only characteristic necessary is proximity. However, “community” refers to “a group of people having a particular characteristic in common” or “a feeling of fellowship with others.” Community requires not just proximity but chemistry and similarities. In the Christian community, the shared value is our relationship with Jesus.
THE EARLY CHURCH
The Bible is filled with verses that talk about the importance of community with one another, and it was especially important to Jesus Himself who literally spent his entire ministry with 12 close friends (in person). He was honest with them, walked with them in their doubt and trials, was loyal to them, and empowered them to be better and this is what we are supposed to do as well.
The early church described in the book of Acts is a prime example of what Christian community should look like today. Acts 2: 24–27 says,
“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to the prayers. Then, fear came over everyone, and many wonders and signs were being performed through the apostles. Now all the believers were together and held all things in common. They sold their possessions and property and distributed the proceeds to all, as anyone had a need. Every day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple complex, and broke bread from house to house. They ate their food with a joyful and humble attitude, praising God and having favor with all the people. And every day the Lord added to them those who were being saved.”
These Christians were devoted to the gospel and each other regularly. It wasn’t just something they believed in but lived out every day! They also sold their possession and property for those that needed it which meant that they actually knew the inner workings of those lives around them. They knew who was going through something, and how that need could be met with tangible actions. They weren’t thinking about what they could get out of it but instead how to bless the people around them. The Scripture goes on to say that they ate meals together regularly in each other’s homes, building relationships and it was because of this that more people became believers.
John 13:34–35 says, “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” The friendships, and community found in the Church is supposed to be different. They are supposed to be life-giving, real, substantial (not surface-level), and full of intentionality.
“The practice of Christian community, quite simply, makes the gospel a lived reality.”
In order to obtain real community some degree of risk is required. This risk of putting yourself out there, being vulnerable, honest and yourself, completely. Instead of being connected to our phones, and striving to be noticed in the digital world, let us be a people who are relatable, real, present and close. Let’s not be people who reach for their phones more than we do someone else’s hand. Instead, we should be like Jesus and be connected to God, ourselves, others and the world around us. Be present in the moment, put the phone down, and engage those around you humbly.
Reach out to someone this week to connect, not over Facebook messenger or Instagram but over coffee or a meal.
—Written by Kristen Malcolm