““It’s an act of grace to forgive, one modelled by God through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for our sins. As those learning what it means to follow Jesus everyday, we should extend that to others.””
What does forgiveness look like? Why should we forgive those who have hurt us (especially in the case of a deep, severe hurt)? Well these aren’t easy questions, but they are real questions we wrestle with throughout out life. In Matthew 18, we see Peter, the Apostle and disciple of Jesus Christ, ask Jesus how many times he should be willing to forgive someone who hurt him. Answering his own question (and really feeling himself) Peter remarked, “as many as 7 times?” Jesus’ reply is to say, no not 7, but an innumerable amount of times! The point is clear; forgive when faced with the opportunity to forgive and don’t keep track. But how do we do that and why should we?
To answer the latter first, one reason to forgive is that forgiveness is more for you than the other person. Research has shown that forgiveness improves our mental health outcomes by reducing anxiety and depression. Moreover, the ‘afore-linked’ article goes on to show that that even higher levels of accumulated lifetimes stress didn’t lead to poorer mental health for people who scored high on forgiveness measures. Stated more simply, forgiveness (even when you are stressed) protects you from worse mental health outcomes. Forgiveness can function as a protective shield for our mental health. Forgiveness helps us ward off feelings of bitterness and anger and by releasing us from the desire for revenge. Moreover, the opposite is true; anger that turns into bitterness prolongs our hurt and pain.
While it’s more for yourself, forgiveness also opens the door to reconciliation of a relationship by canceling the debt that person owed you. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ in God forgave you.” It’s an act of grace to forgive, one modelled by God through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for our sins. As those learning what it means to follow Jesus everyday, we should extend that to others.
So how do we do it? Well, we resolve to make a choice to forgive in advance and rely on the strength that the Holy Spirit provides. Some things are clearly easier to forgive (person who mistakenly cut you off on the road) than others (loved one who said/did something harmful). Some hurts and pains require a longer time to process and you may need to journal or seek counsel as a part of that journey. To forgive doesn’t mean that you forget or excuse the offence. In fact, forgiveness may require setting up healthy boundaries that limit that relationship in an effort protect you from future trauma, but forgiveness is a choice you make that can have profound impact on your life and act as a model for those around you.
Throughout the rest of 2020, you will be presented with an opportunity to forgive someone. Will you forgive? How will you approach it? What are the implications of those answers to your mental and physical health? Speaking of good mental health practices; Our new teaching series; the Unquiet Mind begins this Sunday March 14th at our worship gathering at 10:30am. Dr. Grant Mullen will be here to speak to us about Three Keys to Overcoming Fear, Worry and Anxiety. I’d encourage you to attend and invite a friend or family member. It will be insightful and encouraging!